An Open Letter to the American Right

Hey. Chris here. I know. You're probably not actually reading this because, well, this is just some obscure little website run by an obscure guy. A guy who has been pretty critical of you and your elected representatives lately. But I've just got to get this off my chest, so here goes.

Basically, I don't think you're stupid or crazy or evil. I suspect that if we sat down for a couple days with some beers and tasty vittles, we would find that we agree on more things than we disagree on. Family. Community. Responsibility. Life, liberty, and the pursuit. Good commonsense American stuff. Sure, you've got a hair across your ass about abortion and gays, and I still have crazy notions that we should provide decent healthcare and education to poor and try not to destroy the planet, but when it comes down to day-to-day issues, issues that dictate how you and I, American voters, live our lives, I think we share a lot. We try to avoid hurting others. We try to help people in need. We take care of our own. We don't want the government telling us what to do, or taking too much of our money. Right? No, I don't buy your supernatural world view so I'm sure as shit going to Hell on a Harley when this is all over, but I'm not a bad guy. My aren't going to be jerks or criminals or burdens on society.

So, let's talk about George W. Bush for a minute. Think about when you first became aware of him. What did you think? You probably thought that here was a good Christian guy, who shared a lot of your Big Picture philosophies regarding Jesus and saving the unborn and containing the gay menace and killing any foreigners who we don't like. When I first saw him, I thought "You have got to be fricking kidding me. This guy can't run for President. He's not a Presidential guy." So here's the thing. We were both right. President Bush does indeed line up with you on a whole bunch of issues that you care about in your heart...

...but, man oh man, he sucks as a President. Badly. He's just not up to the job.

I could rattle through the whole litany of W's incompetence and chicanery, but let's just focus on this one little news story that came out today. Basic presidential stuff. Blocking and tackling that every President faces...in this case, getting ready for a natural disaster. Bush knew that the New Orleans levees might break. We know this, because we've now got videotape of him being told about it, before Katrina hit, by his top emergency advisors. His response to that information at the time was that the Federal government was fully prepared for the storm. That was just wrong. We weren't close to ready. He didn't ask a single question during the briefing. Not one. Because he already knew the answer, which was that we were totally ready. OK, that's just a huge mistake. Then, four days after the storm, he went on national TV and told us all that no one had any idea that the levees might break. That was a lie.

Forget abortion and gay marriage and healthcare and the environment and the tax rate. This guy didn't do the job you elected him to do. And then he lied to us all about why he didn't do it. I don't understand what more anyone needs to know. Layer on top of it the corruption, the massive increase in the size of government and Presidential power, the erosion of basic freedoms, the explosion of National debt, and the utter festering pooch screw that is our involvement in Iraq, and you've got a Grade A Number One failure as a leader. Your guy is fucking up our country, badly.

Please don't take this personally. Just because he's your guy doesn't make this your fault. None of this is meant as an indictment of your ideas. We can argue about those later...I'm sure we can find plenty of things to disagree about. Right now, though, it's just about apt leadership. I'm sure there are probably similar examples among Democrats. Maybe Jimmy Carter. Great, smart guy. I love the work he's done post Oval Office and I think he's got all the right ideas. Crummy president. For whatever reason. I'm willing to own that. Maybe I was 11 when he was elected, but whatever. I undoubtedly would have voted for him if I could have. Clinton. Pretty good guy, but I'd like to kick him right in the nads for that stupid, petty, asinine Lewinski business. OK? Now it's time for you guys to do some soul searching about the mess you helped create. Honestly, I don't care all that much whether you run someone in '08 who is a pro-life homophobe. I kind of expect it of you. But, please. Please. Please. Pretty please. Make it a competent, honest, experienced pro-life homophobe. It's just too imporant a job to be left to some nincompoop who happens to go to the same church you do. You know, I believe in my heart that defense wins championships, but I'd be a lousy football coach. I just don't know how to do the job.

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